I Am Different

She will not understand me being different, and I do not care any more.

I know it is confusing for her to see me and not understand, what is it about me that makes her unsettled.

I am not a billionaire, yet I feel like I am.

I do not complain about my pains, yet I have stories to share.

I do not speak her language, yet I understand what she is saying.

I do not attend church, yet I am spiritual.

I am fortunate, yet I am not afraid to claim for more.

I am part of them, yet I do not follow their rules.

I am successful, yet my success is not defined by their set of values.

I love me the way I am, and this is what is confusing for many.

It is a bold statement for me to announce here and loud out. I love to be different. I always wanted to be different, unique. I always knew I was, yet before being different felt hurtful, alienating, shrinking, constricting, suffocating.

I was different growing up in Ukraine. I was an outsider there: too proper, too honest, too good.

I was different in every culture I moved in after I left my home country in 2004. I am still different now, when I came to the USA for good.

The news is, that I do not care about being different any more. I love to be what I am and do what brings me my life. I am special in the way I talk and walk. I love my accent, because this is what would attract me in other people too. I love that my eyes are green, and the hair is fine, because I love to notice unique features in other people. I love to share my stories from my heart because I would love to listen to other people speaking from their heart too. I love nature and cities and cultures, because they excite me and make me feel more of me. I love things that inspire me, because I love seeing other people being inspired too.

I never wanted to hide true me, but I cared too much about feelings of others, because I wanted to be accepted, welcomed, understood. I realized that I needed to accept myself first. My inner-peace is what I have been after. I got it! I am different, unique, special, weird, whatever and it is fine with me. I love, enjoy, and appreciate my life and this is what I am after.

Life is a journey of joy. Embrace it!

Much love.

Lena

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